Retreat

It's Wednesday.

Tomorrow I leave town for 4 days to go hide. And let me tell you, it can't get here a moment too soon.

Several years ago I started setting aside a few days every year for a prayer retreat. Last year I didn't make it. I thought it was no big deal. I was wrong.

Life is busy. Crazy busy. My days start at 4am, I'm very rarely in bed before 9pm. My calendar is full. And life is just draining. No matter how hard you try to protect your sanity.

The though of 4 quiet days fills my heart with such a deep longing. It truly is the best thing I do all year.

So... I'm off. Today will be a whirlwind, tying up loose ends at work, packing, making sure there's food for the kiddos to eat while I'm gone. And then tomorrow.... Well, we'll just have to wait and see what tomorrow brings.

Can't wait!!

Have you ever gone on a prayer retreat? How did it change your life?

If you've never been on a retreat, what's stopping you? Time? Money? Responsibilities? Can you trust God to work it out for you? Every woman needs a time to refresh!

Come Play

The sun gently warms my skin, the wind, swirling, whispers “come play”.

I stand with toes in sand, ball of string in my hand, kite at my feet. The wind picks up pieces of my hair, gently dances across my skin enticing, alluring, “come play”.

I lift the kite in my hand, the wind catches it. They dance together. My kite and the wind.

Slowly I unwind string from the ball in my hand. “Higher! Higher!” the wind sings. “Further! Further!” the kite calls.

I unwind. Faster now. Loop after loop string passes through my open hand. Throwing my head back I laugh as I watch my kite skitter and glide across blue skies.

The ball of string grows small in my hand as the kite climbs higher and higher.

The wind changes course, the kite dives. Dark clouds rush in. The wind laughs. A sinister, mocking laugh. The kite pulls, fights, threatens to break away.

Digging my heals in the sand I struggle against the wind, against the kite.

Pulling, fighting, bleeding I try to reel it in. Tears mix with rain. Thunder and lightning. Darkness and shadow. And the kite… swirling, dipping, diving.

Footsteps. A hand. A warmth. Papa is here. He takes the string from my hand. My eyes turn away. Shame on my face.

“It’s OK” He whispers. To me.

“Be still” He whispers. To the wind.

Slowly I raise my eyes to His. He smiles. I smile. The kite slows, steadies. The winds whisper and dance. My hand rests in His. My head on His shoulder. And slowly He winds the string into a ball in His hands.

“We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.” 2 Cor. 10:5

Thoughts are fickle things. So many of them are good. So many of them are dangerous. It’s fun to think of things we shouldn’t. It’s stimulating. Empowering. What’s wrong with a little worry, a little fear, a little doubt, a little fantasy, a little longing?

It’s no big deal.

Until we lose control. Until we realize that the thoughts we entertain in our mind separate us from a Holy God. Until we realize that the path our thoughts have led us down have led us away from truth.

Our thoughts seem harmless. But they’re not. Our thoughts are the first step down the path of destruction. God wants us to take our thoughts captive. He wants us to submit our minds to Him. Because left to my own devices my thoughts will lead me deeper and deeper into a trap of sin. But, if I submit my thoughts to Him, if I freely give Him control of my mind, He will lead me deeper and deeper into His arms of love.

Captive thoughts will make you free.

Rock Star

Friday night we hosted several artists for an incredible night of worship. We invited a few guests to join us for dinner and an opportunity to meet Todd Agnew. Our guests were so excited about getting to meet him. And while it was a great night, for those of us working the event, it wasn’t really a “big deal” getting to meet Todd. Spending time with recording artists is part of the job. Granted, it’s one of the cooler parts of the job. But after a while it can become routine, commonplace even. But… for fans who don’t get to spend their days interviewing artists and working back stage at concerts, it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity.

This morning driving in to work I was thinking about my relationship with God and started wondering if it’s become routine, commonplace, no big deal. The honest truth is… in many ways it has.

I’m used to Him. Used to hanging out with Him, talking to Him, reading about Him. I know all the stories written about Him. I’ve heard practically every sermon that can be preached about Him. I spend my days telling others about Him. And in the routine of following Christ, I’ve become numb to the wonder of who He really is.

Last Friday night people rearranged their schedules, took off work early, got babysitters, all so they could spend 30 minutes with a recording artist. Yet, almost every day, I hit the snooze button and fall back asleep instead of getting out of bed 30 minutes early to sit in the presence of the King of Kings. I rationalize my snooze button routine by saying; I’ll do it later. I’ll read my Bible at lunch. I’ll pray in the car. It’s no big deal.

It’s no big deal.

When did spending time with God become “no big deal”?

I wonder how God would feel if I treated Him like a Rock Star? If I was as in awe of Him as I am in awe of my favorite artists (yes… that would be Third Day!)? Trust me, if Mac Powell was coming to the studio you’d better believe I’d jump out of bed early!!

The truth is, it doesn’t matter if I ever meet Mac, or Todd, or ___________(fill in the blank of your favorite singer).

What does matter is if I meet Christ.

Here I Am

Have you ever felt lost?

Not the "maybe we should stop for directions" kind of lost. But the "I have no idea what to do" kind of lost?

Lately.... I've felt lost. Not overwhelmingly so. But enough to cause increased prayer & journaling.

You see, there are choices that need to be made. Things that need to be decided. New opportunities that I'm unsure of.

And so... I'm seeking. Looking. Waiting.

This weekend, in my wanderings, I stumbled upon a place. When I entered in I discovered that I was no longer lost. I knew exactly where I was. I knew exactly who I was.

It was wonderful. Glorious. Blissful. And for a moment... the veil of confusion was lifted.

I didn't find the answers to my questions. The questions simply left my mind. And for a moment I was lost in being found.

Where was I?

At His feet. Bowed in worship. Basking in His love.

For there, in His presence, nothing is lost.