That's hard to admit. But it's true.
It's nothing new. Hurtful words and broken promises cracked and shattered my heart.
When you look around you and find that you are surrounded by shards of glass you become fearful, timid.
My heart related to Humpty Dumpty.
He sat on a wall, had a great fall. And all the King's horses and all the King's men couldn't put him together again.
The same is true of me. I tried to put myself back together. I tried to let others put me back together. But nothing worked.
Exhausted we all gave up, me... the horses... the men.
That's when He came. The King Himself. He said He could put me back together, but it would take time. I would have to trust Him with all the broken pieces. I would have to give Him permission to poke and prod and fit the pieces back together.
It's painful stuff. Hurts sometimes. He says it's worth it. I think He's right.
I thought we were done. Recently I stepped back and looked at His work, it looked pretty good. I was impressed. Finally, we could move on.
But then... the rain came. And I realized that while I looked like I was just fine, there were cracks everywhere. Water spilled out faster than I could catch it.
I'm still broken.
But I'm better. No longer am I shattered shards of glass, now I am a vessel. Granted, I'm a cracked vessel, but a vessel none the less.
And this is where the healing begins. When you can admit the brokenness. When you can allow the light to penetrate the darkness.
He that began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it. Phil. 1:6